31.12.13

Spike Jones and his City Slickers "Der Fuehrer's Face"

When der Fuehrer says: "We ist der masterrace"
We Hail! Hail! right in der Fuehrer's Face
Not to love der Fuehrer is a great disgrace
So we Hail! Hail! right in der Fuehrer's Face!

When Herr Goebbels says: "We own der world und space!"
We Hail! Hail! right in Herr Goebbel's Face!
When Herr Göring says: "They'll never bomb this place!"
We Hail! Hail! right in Herr Göring's face!
Are we not the supermen?
Aryan pure supermen?
Ja, we ist der supermen
Super - duper supermen!
Ist this Nazi land so good?
Would you leave it, if you could?
Ja, this Nutzi land is good!
Vee would leave it, if we could!
We bring the world to order
Hail Hitler's world new order!
Everyone of foreign race
will love der Fuehrer's face
When we bring to der world disorder!
When der Fuehrer says: "We ist der masterrace"
We Hail! Hail! right in der Fuehrer's Face
Not to love der Fuehrer is a great disgrace
So we Hail! Hail! right in der Fuehrer's Face!

When der Fuehrer says: "We ist der masterrace"
We Hail! Hail! right in der Fuehrer's Face
Not to love der Fuehrer is a great disgrace
So we Hail! Hail! right in der Fuehrer's Face!

(When der Fuehrer says: "We never will be slaves!")
(We Hail! Hail! But still we work like slaves.)
(While der Fuehrer brags and lies and rants and raves)
(We Hail! Hail! and work into our graves!)

(When der Fuehrer yells: "I got to have more shells!")
(We Hail! Hail! for him we make more shells)
(If one little shell should blow him right to hell)
(We Hail! Hail! and wouldn't that be swell?)

29.12.13

Tom Lehrer "National Brotherhood Week"

Oh, the white folks hate the black folks.
And the black folks, hate the white folks
To hate all but the right folks
is an old established rule. But during...
National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week
Lena Horn C. Cassius Clay and Sheriff Clark Mrs. Wallace are dancing cheek to cheek, it's
fun to eulogize the
people you despise
as long you don't let them in your school.

Oh, the poor folks, hate the rich folks
and the rich folks hate the poor folks.
All of my folks hate all of your folks.
It's American as apple pie. But during...
National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week
New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans 'cause it's very chique
Step up and shake the hand of
someone you can't stand
you can tolerate him if you try.

Oh the Protestants hate the Catholics
and the Catholics hate the Protestants
and the Hindus hate the Muslims
and everybody hates the Jews, but during
National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week its
national everyone smile at
one another-hood week, be
nice to people who are
inferior to you,
it's only for a week so have no fear
be grateful that it doesn't last all year

27.12.13

from dusk till dawn


    From a press release issued last summer by the San Diego Wild Animal Park to promote the zoo's Night Moves tour. The three hour tour, offered on Saturday nights, cost $150 per couple: 

    This summer the park premieres the Night Moves tour, focusing on the wild courtship and mating rituals of the facility's exotic-and erotic-residents. Did you know that lions can mate fifty times a day, and that the gorilla who's smitten gets bitten if he tries to force his affection? These are just a few of the examples of what goes on "behind closed gates" at the San Diego Wild Animal Park 


    A unique dating experience, the Night Moves tour includes a romantic evening drive into the park's huge field enclosures, where inquisitive giraffes and rhinos wander within inches of the open safari truck. Safari guides share anecdotes, show some of the gadgets and techniques used by matchmaking zookeepers, and take memento photos of tour participants. 

    After sunset, the truck stops at romantic Amani Point, a secluded spot offering panoramic, moonlit views of the Eastern and South African waterholes. Here guests can snuggle with their sweeties as they enjoy liqueur-spike coffee and choose from a selection of sinful desserts. A Wild Animal Park expert is on hand to talk about reproductive behaviour in the animal kingdom. 

    The tour is tasteful, but guaranteed to put one in the mood.

Quelle: vergessen...

25.12.13

fun the russian way


From issue #5 of "The Living Here Guide to Clubs and Bars" an English-language biweekly published in Moscow.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zhar-Ptitsa
Kudrinskaya Ploshad 1
WHY: Genuine Seventies-style glitter ball on the dance floor. Fake Italian-style patio restaurant in the underground lobby, complete with plastic vines. Moscow's underworld in all their Armani/Versace splendor.
WHY NOT: Expensive, unfriendly. Identical to a million new Russian hangouts.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jacko's Casino Moskva
Hotel Leningradskaya
WHY: Famous pickup joint. Wonderfully cheesy. Mixed expat/Russian crowd. Poppy disco with large, low-rollers' casino in the next room.
WHY NOT: Has lost most of its atmosphere. Pyschotic bouncers. Most girls now cheap whores.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



 
Bely Tarakan (The White Cockroach)
Marshala Rybalko, Ulitsa 12, korp. 1
WHY: Some echoes of its legendary predecessor. Good billiards.
WHY NOT: Sadly, has become a bandit hangout.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bogdan's
address changes
WHY: Rave scene. Giant TV images and pulsating lasers make you think you're seeing God.
WHY NOT: Danger of OD'ing on cheap Polish ecstacy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



 
Golden Palace
3rd Yamskogo Poly, 15
WHY: Awesome gaudy, high rolling casino bar. Perspex floor near entrance, with fish swimming below your feet.
WHY NOT: Very expensive. Evil-looking Vietnamese clients and shotgun-toting security give the place a Deer Hunter feel.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kakudu
Leninsky Pr.
WHY: Bucket-size pina coladas. Impressionable Russian girls think it's sophisticated.
WHY NOT: Faux South Pacific decor. Mirrors around the dance floor. Sullen, Caucasian businessmen and their pouting molls.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



 
Marika
Ulitsa Perrovka
WHY: Come here to gawk at Moscow's coked-up femme-fatale elite. End your evening by getting your date stolen and your life threatened by slobbering drunk mafiosi and their unshaven thugs.
WHY NOT: You still have some dignity.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Voyazh Club
Altufyevskoe Shosse 13, korp. 2
WHY: Real rock club, heavy leathers and bikers. Double-level stage. Cheap.
WHY NOT: Critical crowd. Singer was dragged from the stage last year and killed by an angry audience. 


Quelle: vergessen...

23.12.13

the walking laboratory


From an interview with Kieth Richards in the December 1995 issue of Details magazine:


MIM: Are there any drugs you haven't done?


Keith: Oh yeh, there's loads of the new ones. I have no time for the modern drugs, because they've gone to all this trouble to take the high out. What's the point of taking those drugs? And they're bad for you! Quite honestly, if you want to go to sleep you're better of with a good old barbiturate like Tuinal or Nembutal or Seconal. It works straight on your heart and it'll be flushed out of your body the next day. But nooooo. They're going to make you a drug that they don't know what it does to you. They'd rather kill you than have you get a buzz. I've studied this shit. I'm a walking laboratory. 




MIM: You know, I believe a few people may have died taking barbiturates.


Keith: Yeah, they sure have, but a lot more have died on your Xanaxes and Halcions and goddamn Quaaludes and all that other stuff they've been giving you all since. This is what makes people drive into restaurants and post offices and blow people away. You find out afterward they're into this newfangled nonsense. I mean with barbiturates, if you want to overdo it and take ten, you're only going to kill yourself. I mean, maybe. Maybe not. 

Quelle: vergessen...

21.12.13

the skating dumbass



From a letter to the editor in the August 95 issue of Thrasher, a monthly skateboarding magazine:
To the editor:

    All right, call me a dumbfuck, but I just found out the other day that Washington, D.C., isn't in the state of Washington. The sad thing is that I am eighteen and never knew this. I passed both government and geography - how I made it through without knowing this, I don't know. I've read stories in Thrasher on D.C. skaters and skate spots too. I found out where it was by looking for it on this U.S. map. I just want to say fuck everyone for never telling me, and I think you should print this because I don't want this to happen to anyone else.


D.C. Dumbass
 

Westminster, CA

Quelle: vergessen...

19.12.13

subtitle or not to subtitle


From a list of English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong, compiled by Stefan Hammand and Mike Wilkins for their book: Sex and Zen & a Bullet in the Head: 

I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. 

Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my inseam. 

Gun wounds again? 

Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. 

A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries. 

Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ ckicken! 


Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.. 

Who gave you the nerve to get killed here? 

Quiet or I'll blow your throat up. 

You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken. 

I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out! 

You daring lousy guy. 


Beat him out of recognizable shape! 

I have been scared shitless too much lately. 

I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair. 

Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected. 

How can you use my intestines as a gift?! 

The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold? 

Quelle: vergessen...

17.12.13

can't buy me love


From a handwritten contract signed recently by an anonymous couple, Mr. X and Ms. Y, in a hotel room in Japan. Mr. X and Ms. Y had been having an extramarital affair. Ms. Y wanted to stop seeing Mr. X and repair her relationship with her husband, but Mr. X wanted to divorce his wife and marry Ms. Y. When Ms. Y turned down his marriage proposal, Mr. X hired Kazuo Yamada, a Japanese mediator, to help change her mind. Yamada met with Ms. Y and asked her about her problems, and then drew up this contract and presented it to Mr. X. The couple was married shortly thereafter: 

I, Mr. X, solemnly swear to Ms. Y that our relationship will adhere to the following clauses: 

Mr. X will not force Ms. Y to make love.
Mr. X will not demand that Ms. Y go naked in the bedroom.
Mr. X will not summon Ms. Y from the bed.
Mr. X will not bring up Ms. Y's romantic past.
Mr. X will not use Ms. Y as his own erotic dress-up doll.
Mr. X will not act like a dirty old man.
Mr. X will help with the housekeeping.
Mr. X will keep his temper under control.
Mr. X will not refuse to meet Ms. Y's family and friends.
Mr. X will not complain about little things.
If Mr. X fails to uphold his pledge, he will unhesitatingly agree to anything Ms. Y demands.


Quelle: vergessen...

15.12.13

the soap inventory


Attached is some correspondence between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times.
------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Maid,
   Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish.They are in my way.
Thank you,
   S. Berman
------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Room 635,
   I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily.
   I hope this is satisfactory.

   Kathy, Relief Maid
------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Maid
-- I hope you are my regular maid.
   Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning
the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet.
   I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
   Please remove them.

   S. Berman
-------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
   My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday.
   Please let me know if I can of further assistance.

   Your regular maid,
   Dotty
-------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
   The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you.
   Elaine Carmen
   Housekeeper
-------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Miss Carmen,
   It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 745 AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
   S. Berman
------------------------------------------------------------- 



 
Dear Mr. Berman,
   Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you,
   Elaine Carmen,
   Housekeeper
-------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Kensedder,
   My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
   S. Berman
------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
   I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.
   I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

   Martin L. Kensedder
   Assistant Manager
------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
   Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial.
   Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

   S. Berman
-------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
   You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
   Elaine Carmen
   Housekeeper
-------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
   Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.
   As of today I possess:
   - On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
   - On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
   - On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
   - Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
   - In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
   - On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
   - On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
   Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

   S. Berman

Quelle: vergessen...

13.12.13

hug your television


From "The Television Hug," a chapter in The Art of Hugging by William Crane. The book provides "precise how-to instruction for more than twenty-five different hugs." 

    When they're at home, 62 percent of men and women enjoy television hugs more than just about any other kind. "Whenever possible, my girlfriend and I hug in front of the television," says a translator from Canada. "We like to sit side by side on the love seat, sometimes with my arm around her or hers around me. Or we watch a show lying on the couch, with her in front of me." 

    Women sometimes like you to stroke their hair and groom them during the television hug. Another thing a woman likes is to sit on your lap. She'll appreciate it if you allow her to do this for a good while without interruption. This doesn't mean you have to let her cut off your circulation. Make it easy on yourself and take a break during commercials to stretch your legs. 




   Sometimes a woman is happy just to be able to lean against you while you're watching television. Tell her to rest her head on your shoulder. Stroke her hair now and then. Snake an arm around her waist if you can. Or place your hand on her knee or thigh. 

    Guys like it when you spoon with them on the couch while watching television. This usually involves the two of you lying on your sides close together, like a couple of spoons, both of you facing the television so that you can see the show. Says an accountant, "When we watch The Simpsons, we generally spoon with her in front, my arm draped over her, and her legs intertwined with mine." 

    The most important thing to remember about the television hug is to stay focused on your partner's needs. One woman says she gets annoyed when hugging her boyfriend if he gets too engrossed in the program and seems less interested in her. 

Quelle: vergessen...

7.12.13

S.Y.P.H. - E.X.

Eigentlich sollte diese CD (und auch LP?) am 19.7.2013 erscheinen, aber ein Antrag auf einstweilige Verfügung von Harry Rag verhinderte das. Die Darstellung über die Hintergründe dieser Produktion sind strittig. Laut Harry Rag war die LP fertig produziert und sollte "S.P.Q.R." heißen, laut den anderen Bandmitgliedern war die Produktion noch nicht abgeschlossen. Sicher ist, dass Rags Gesangsspuren durch die von Doc Schoko ersetzt wurden, nachdem Rag aus der Band rausgeworfen wurde. Ob es noch gleichen Songs und der gleiche Mix sind oder ob hier ebenfalls Änderungen vorgenommen wurden ist unklar, ebenfalls wie die Hintergründe des Bruchs mit Rag. Auch der Sachstand der gerichtlichen Auseinandersetzung ist unbekannt, Tapete schweigt.

S.Y.P.H. "E.X."
Doof Im Hof / Japanische Hotels / Elvis In Hamburg / Lachwasser / Erfolgreich Erfolglos / Ritual / Vorhof Im Doof (Doof Im Hof Return) / Panke / Projektor / P.O.N.R. (Projektor Return) / Wenn Mein Blauer Mond Wieder Zu Gold Wird
Ralf Bauerfeind: Schlagzeug / Doc Schoko: Gesang / Jörg Lehnhardt: Gitarre / Jojo Wolter: Bass / Georg Zangl: Stahl-Profile, Gesang / Uwe Jahnke: Gitarre
Promo-CD Tapete Records TR 253 (c) 2013
(download)

4.12.13

S.Y.P.H. - Live im Ratinger Hof 1984

Eine Spende von Tommy Tapeattack: ein Live-Mitschnitt vom Beginn der zweiten Lebensphase von S.Y.P.H. mit Stücken aus der Frühzeit, aber auch Material, das später auf der "Wieleicht"-Doppel-LP (die ebenfalls Stücke aus der Frühzeit enthält) zu hören ist. S.Y.P.H. versuchten damals einen Plattenvertrag mit der Industrie zu bekommen, was aber aus verschiedenen Gründen nicht klappte, wohl aber auch weil die Zeit der NDW - unabhängig von der Frage, ob S.Y.P.H. jede musikalisch Teil der NDW waren, aber wie Grönemeyer und Westernhagen klangen sie eben auch nicht - vorbei war.

S.Y.P.H. "Live im Ratinger Hof 1984"
edel-ekel/raus aus dem elternhaus/der letzte held/der junge mit der sehnsucht/in einem moment/falsche freunde/mercedes/pamela/hörzu/karl/lachleute und nettmenschen//
lachleute und nettmenschen/und so geht es/the ice piece/unser zimmer/der bauer im parkdeck/tausend nackte neger/meine frau/edel-ekel/zurück zum beton
(download)

1.12.13

Brotbeutel im Dezember

Playlist 22.00-23.00 Uhr:
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Elastica - Gloria
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Smithereens - Rockin around the christmas tree
Die Toten Hosen - Knecht Rubrecht's letzte Fahrt
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Die Toten Hosen - Schöne Bescherung
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Die Toten Hosen - Willi's weisse Weihnacht
Beach Boys - Little Saint Nick
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Ramones - Merry christmas
De La Soul - Millie pulled a pistol on Santa
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
ZK - Nieder mit dem Weihnachtsmann
Beatles - Christmas time (edit)
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Living Musicbox - Rudolph the rasta reindeer
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Baba Gaston & Orchestre Baba National - Kakolele viva christmas (complete)
(anhören 1.Stunde)

Playlist 23.00-24.00 Uhr:
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Hamburg Ramönes - Merry christmas
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Kosmonautentraum - Jingle bells
Slade - Merry x-mas
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Mark Mothersbaugh - Tannenbong
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
John Lennon - Happy x-mas
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Blumenschein/Butzmann/Gut/Köster - White christmas
Pyrolator - Ein Weihnachtsmann kommt in die Disco
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
The Greedies - A merry jangle
Missionswerk Karlsruh
Feiert Jesus - I will sing your praises (Father God I wonder)
Missionswerk Karlsruhe
Feiert Jesus - Einer, nur er kennt die Antwort (anhören 2.Stunde)